SCHOOL OF LIFE

Learning and education are supposed to be the most important parts in our lives. Learning is a life-time process, it never stops. What role does good old SCHOOL play in it?

School definitely doesn't prepare kids for the real life and how to survive this roller-coaster ride.

We're forgetting that we are learning for us, our knowledge, so we know more and will help us on our path in life. But somehow now it seems like the school system is all about grades, competition.. Kids learn only for good grades, even more, for their parents, so they get praised for good grades and school success. There seems to be a belief that the better you are in school, more opportunities you will get in life. But does it really mean that?

As a parent I believe it is my duty to make my children understand that this is not the case. Even though I was an A student in elementary and high school, even in college, I never considered myself superior that those who weren't as successful (with grades I mean). If anything, I envied them, while they weren't under constant pressure of getting good grades (that is what happens when you're a good student - doesn't it?).

Your kids doesn't know the real meaning of grades, but they understand YOUR REACTION to the grades they are getting. They will react on your bad mood, they will feel unsuccessful, incapable.. Expect or even demand A+ from your kids is inadmissible. Are you doing everything in life for A+? Far from that, I guess. But that's ok. The important thing is to have a challenge and not fear defeat.

Parents have very important role in this school process. Usually parents want their children to be successful, and that is measured in grades. So what do they do? They start helping their kids, doing homework for them, so that they will get praised by teachers, that they will be the best in class... But what exactly are they telling their kids by doing so? That they are not capable of doing it themselves, that they are not good enough, that we can make it better than them..

Kids will eventually loose motivation, feel their own inability to do anything. This will follow them later in life, when they will be unable to make decisions and responsibility. They will be passive, always waiting for solution to come to them.. IS THAT WHAT WE WANT FOR OUR KIDS? I don't think so..

You as parents have to be involved in the process of learning but in a way where you know how to motivate your child. It is your job to teach them to express emotions, make them strong personalities with a sense of responsibility and ability to make decisions and stand for themselves. Parents are the first teacher in their child's life. No school will teach them how to survive in the world.

School teaches languages, maths, biology,...those are the knowledge that will help our children get into society, get a job. But how they use this knowledge in real life is parent's job.

Parents have to guide our children, not force information they don't want. We have to encourage them, have to teach them that it's OK if you fall, the important thing is, you know how to get back on your feet.

We have to have a healthy relationship with our kids. Talk to them, listen to them. Your kids need to feel that they are accepted, that they have your support, that you are there for them at any moment. Let them express their feelings, not just joy but also sadness, anger, concern, fear. Only then will they feel accepted and safe. Set the boundaries, give them love and give them discipline. Don't criticize your child as personality, only the behavior.